I have come to recognize that the topic of breath in everyday life, in movement, in relaxation and focus has become a challenge and evolving thought process and practice in my current state. I have been questioning myself how have I evolved with breath, concentration in all forms, and within the subject of contact improvisation, allowing others to take my weight. Easy breathing and relaxation comes easy to some, however with much practice, I have come to learn that breath can focus me, bring me into my body, connect the movement between others, and myself and inspire movement.
The process of inspirational and focusing breath does not come easily, and full concentration is still not there, but I feel comfortable relaxing and coming into the room with determination to move forward.
While evaluating myself, and my progression in contact improvisation, I judged in terms of where is stood in the beginning, the middle and the end. At the start of this course, I often laughed at everything; got stuck in strange, and at the time, very uncomfortable situations, especially on the floor and I always found myself going back to simple hand contact. Once we were introduced to new moves and ways to transition to and from the floor, it became easier to contact others and become fluid. The dreaded awkward moments have now been replaced with new movement options, many possible scores, tempos, etc.
There will always be awkward moments, but I have noticed the pauses happen less often, especially when actively concentrating on my partner, and what I would like to accomplish. I have experienced that feeling of, “yeah, this is awesome,” a few times while dancing with classmates. Everything was working out, the movement was fluid, and little thought was involved. I enjoy doing contact when I have a good experience. Not only does is make me feel that I have learned how to interact with others through skin and movement, but I feel that when dancing with someone, and all goes well, it is also possible to have a well presented dance. I am well aware that not all contact dances will go as planned, and feels fluid; for me, that is where the learning process continues. I find some people intimidating, those with confidence, love for the style and obvious comfort. Therefore I feel that dancing with them may be difficult, but the amount of information available to obtain from someone talented, confident and skilled would be very beneficial.
A constant fear while dancing with someone is the weight exchange. I am often nervous to give my weight to others. I constantly fear that they will not be able to handle my weight, possibly because I am not as comfortable in my own body as others are; so I find myself questioning, “if I am not comfortable, how will others be?” Due to this doubt and resistance, my dances with others have moments where weight could add such an interesting dynamic to our movement, but I opt out, and move to something different, something safe.
I would like to explore what movement creation can stem from contact improvisation. Simple contact between others in choreography can be a very powerful aspect to a dance, and being that I am interested in choreography, I am happy to have learned some of the basics to contact, so I can further experiment and see what comes of it.
Focusing on my breath has become a constant practice in my improvisation classes. Connecting to myself and focusing seems to come easier in contact because we have the designated ten or fifteen minutes to get into our bodies. With that time, I find that I do not move. I can find my breath, and feel it in my stomach, down to my feet, and out through my arms when I am just lying there with closed eyes. The common saying in dance “leave everything at the door,” is often difficult to accomplish, but with the given time, I have found being present in the room with my peers comes through my breath and relaxation.
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Maria, thank you for your honest and insightful post. I've been dancing contact for about 7 years, and I'd like to make a few comments.
ReplyDeleteOn the fear of weight exchange: give yourself time. Maybe more than any other dance form, maybe more than any other activity, contact improvisation doesn't demand that you get anywhere, that you dance any particular way. Give yourself time to feel comfortable with exchanging weight; it doesn't have to happen right away or with everyone.
And it might not be so much about feeling comfortable in your body as it is about developing your CI skills. It's much easier to give weight when (a) you've developed the sensitivity to know how much support is there for you, and (b) you've developed falling or counter-balancing skills so that you can catch yourself if the support isn't there.
Then again, it might be about feeling comfortable. :) But these things take time, and there's no where you need to get to. Every level of skill is a blessing to a contact improvisation jam, and if you aren't comfortable giving weight to someone, that may be that person's opportunity to learn how to make her partner feel more comfortable, or to dance without giving weight.
Personally, I was not at all a natural to CI when I first started (so my friends tell me), and didn't do any lifts for about my first six months, until I really felt secure about all the different aspects of lifting, being lifted, and falling. But I think waiting helped me develop really solid CI technique, to the point now where I'm very secure flying high, knowing exactly where my weight is and how to fall properly if things get shaky.
I would go as far as to say that fear is your friend! Fear keeps you from getting injured, and unlike, say, public speaking, there's a real chance of physical injury in contact improvisation. It can be dangerous, and your fear is there to guide you. Yes, you don't want fear to unnecessarily hold you back from experiences or developing skills. But give yourself time.
On awkwardness: I would like to encourage you to feel awkward in CI, and to enjoy feeling awkward. Contact improvisation isn't meant to be perfect and seamless, smooth and streamlined. Of course, it can be sometimes. But it's also human, and messy, and bumpy, and awkward, and these are some of the most beautiful parts about it.
The awkwardness is really the gift that beginners bring to contact improvisation. As CI dancers gain more experience, they become more patterned, more used to doing certain things in most situations, and forget how to find themselves in places where they don't know what to do. We forget the beginner's mind. Awkwardness is a wonderful thing, the excitement of NOT KNOWING WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT, and the more you dance, the more you try to break your patterns to get back to that place of awkwardness. That's why it can be so fun to dance with beginners. Enjoy the awkwardness! it may not last forever!
I encourage you to take advantage of all the great classes and jams in Chicago and keep dancing contact improvisation. I hope this made sense and was helpful.
Richard Kim
Ann Arbor, MI